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To the public eye, having a baby means buying soft blankets, bringing over a meal for a new mom, and gushing over tiny baby fists and plump cheeks. It’s easy to focus on all the joy and light a baby brings, and for many, that’s what it is. For the rest of us, the postpartum period is no joke.

There’s pain, blood, and sleepless nights. There’s exhaustion unlike anything you’ve ever experienced and endless hours of nursing or holding a bottle. And sometimes there’s a lot going on mentally and emotionally.

It’s not our faults. We just had major hormonal shifts bringing the potential for mental health concerns, mainly postpartum depression and anxiety. Here’s what you need to know about postpartum mental health.