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We've taken our daughter on 30 flights, both domestic and international, and while it's not yet a relaxing or restful experience, we've managed to come up with a system that has helped us avoid ever using a tablet or other device. We owe a great deal to the Target dollar spot, though, because we've found some gems there that have kept her occupied for hours. 

Overall, our theory is that a good offense — many more snacks and activities than you think you'll need — is the best defense. 
Here is a list of places to start when you're planning for a flight with a kid!